i don't know why i lashed out at you like that. i don't even know what the fuck i'm doing ah.
no one treated you like i do, maybe cause the only other person you were with was trisha.
fuck ah its the same fucking issue over and over and over again. i'm a different human! no one ever treated you like i did. no one told me in my face countless fucking times to "fuck off!".
i don't enjoy being called bitch or asshole or dumbshit.
i message you to ask you if you're okay, i'm CONCERNED okay. then i get replies like "i don't feel like talking to you".
that "fuck off" was the last straw. its a vicious cycle!
i enjoyed the past few days so much, it was like heaven, i felt in love, i felt loved and i was loving you. then the same thing happens again.
i don't even know how i feel. just the same dead feeling. like there's a space in my chest cavity.
why're you angry anyways? i don't get it.
you keep asking me to leave you, i can never bring myself to do it. i don't want to go through the same thing over again. i love you, i just need you to know how i feel when you do the things you do.
why can't you bring yourself to leave me as well? so it seems to me.

arggggghhhh i just want to sleep and wake up and find everything's back to normal.